Good impressions, that’s what people must have of you once you’ve stopped the conversation you were having. At work I have a few colleagues who’re quite good at it. A closing line, totally off-topic and so far out it’s actually a damn shame nobody was there to record it. So that’s why I’ve been searching a little for a tool that suits fine to play along in the game. Every time I send out an email to one of these colleagues next week, I’ll include a cunning phrase to entice their thinking and make them philosophically ease back in their chair to stroke their imaginary beards. Examples might be:
“As my uncle Will always used to say: Nothing is quite as distracting as the memory of pressing an ice-cold cola bottle to their jugular right in the middle of a United Nations reception.”
“Someone has put it this way: Thanks to you, at this precise moment someone is feeling the sensation of a staggering religious epiphany right in the middle of soothing the escaped tiger.”
Or: “Remember: There’s nothing that can wake someone up like the feeling of having their nipples removed and cleaned right in the middle of freeclimbing the face of El Capitan.”
Yeah. It’s always good to end conversations with an impressive literate line.
Want to have more? Check out the Instant Sensual Karma Generator, and you too can increase the amount of pleasure in the universe by granting a moment of bliss to some bewildered soul. (Careful, some links on that site are NSFW)