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This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don’t quote me on that. Don’t quote me on anything. All rights reserved. Patent pending. For external use only. Avoid extreme temperatures. Avoid contact with eyes and skin. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a magnetic source. Smoking could be hazardous to your health. Cigarette Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. Smoking Causes Lung Cancer, Heart Disease, Emphysema. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, induce vomiting. Ribbed for her pleasure. Offer valid only at participating locations. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. You may distribute this article freely, but may not make a profit from it. Actual cash value of this website is 1/1000th of a cent. Listen to your mom. Eat your veggies. Wear your seatbelt. Don’t take candy from strangers… or strange people… or anyone really. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life and move on. This list was current at the time of printing. Terms are subject to change without notice. All decisions are final! This supersedes all previous notices.
Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, or other acts of God, neglect, damage from improper use, incorrect line voltage, unauthorized use, unauthorized repair, improper installation, typos, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, disk failure, accidental file deletions, mud slides, forest fire, hitting of a deer, milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking, or projectiles, which can include, but are not limited to, arrows, bullet shots, BBs, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.
Beta means: product not entirely approved yet. Coolz0r is Miel Van Opstal, currently working for Microsoft as an Enthusiast Evangelist for Europe, Middle East and Africa. Toke as needed. Do not inhale nor swallow. The articles are not read or pre-approved by my employer. The opinions expressed are those of me, myself and I. It is not encouraged to do exactly what I say. Predictions might not come true. Dreams neither. Do not eat the product that comes with the flower. Meat can be yummy. Advertising is only advertising. Ideas might be stupid but funny. Do not drink and drive. Music is good for your health. Whatever you do, it’s not my fault.
This disclaimer may not be copied or reproduced in any form without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.
