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Privacy Interrupter Number One

20 Sep 2005

There’s only a few things that bother me when I get contacted by other people over my cell phone. First of all, I don’t know if you’ve ever noticed, there’s a ‘red phone’ and a ‘green phone’ button on every phone. I push the green one to answer if it pleases me, and I push the red one to refuse. That’s right: refuse ! Since it’s my phone, I have the right to refuse a call. Whenever I’m out doing something, or busy talking with someone, and the phone rings… it might be ‘not a good time’ to answer it. For some reason people always expect a phone to be answered when it rings, and they get frustrated when that doesn’t happen. They call again, because ‘maybe I didn’t hear my phone’. Again I push the red phone button, still being in the same conversation I was in seconds before. Normally you’d expect people to understand the situation at this point, but no. There are people that even dare to call me a third time, bringing me so far to just turn off the phone for a while. I’m not that kind of guy who lets his phone ring x times before it hits the voice mail when it’s on a table, in my pocket or in my jacket. I’m aware of the annoying factor it might have on the people around me.

Very often, after the second try and thus the second denied call, I get a text message asking me ‘is there something wrong?’ or ‘iz u ok?’. I don’t get it. Maybe they think I’m having a panic attack or so, or that I’ve become a phoneophobiac or something. They totally don’t understand that it might happen people sometimes are busy living their life and, to this person’s great surprise, are not staring at the display, waiting for a name to appear to pick up the phone happily and overjoyed.

Some people are offended if I do this, because they think it’s a personal issue, but I’d like to point out that it simply is a matter of common sense. I hate it when I’m in a conversation that gets interrupted by a cellphone call. (I’ll get to analogue phones later, don’t worry). I think it makes the other person in the conversation (if it’s a dialogue) look really stupid. I mean how serious can you take a person that’s looking to somebody who’s making a call? That’s hilarious and it happens all around us. I am against this form of humiliation. It shows of no repect for the person you’re in the conversation with. It’s just not done.

Sometimes I’m surprised about how easily it is accepted that a telephone interrupts your daily life. Everything you were doing stops or is obstructed, every conversation abruptly terminated. My mother actually lets go of everything she was holding in her hands to run straight to the phone, because it might be important. Well, I didn’t want to break the news to her, but nowadays phones are no longer only used in case of emergency. She doesn’t seem to get that either, because she’ll start talking with the person on the other end of the line anyway. Even if it’s less important than the things she was doing. She’ll finish the conversation and then return to the one she was making before the phone rang. I find that unlogical. Real life in front of you values more than remote life. That’s how I see it.

The second time my phone rings, I’ll look to the display, and if it’s really someone I know, I’ll answer it quick, excusing me first to the person I was talking to. I’ll say I’m in another conversation and that I’ll get back to them asap, greeting them shortly and then end the call. That takes 5 seconds at max. I’ll then continue the conversation and call back when it suits me better. But if the caller id is unknown or hidden, or if I know it’s going to be ‘casual’ (like you just know x or y only calls to say hi, and does that all the time), I think I have the right to refuse the call. And I don’t think that’s rude and no, it doesn’t mean I’m mad at you. If I terminate a call like this, you’ll get the ‘occupied’ signal. That saves you money for the voice mail, so be glad and call again, ten or fifteen minutes later. Please.

The other thing that bothers me is the cellphone behaviour of some people in the train or for that matter: on any form of public transportation. I really feel no need to be involved in your private or business life, nor do I want to know how much you hate your job and how big of a jerk your boss is. If you don’t like your dayjob, stfu and look for another. If you do want to talk, please keep it down. Really. I’m not saying you have to whisper, but talking too loud really is the opposite.

[The Wireless Weblog] adds something else to this in their article “Bluetooth Headsets Causing Social Problems?” That’s a thing that fits in just great in this context.

 
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Posted by Miel Van Opstal in Ethics, General, Mobile & VoIP, Thoughts

 

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